Our children chose us. What an honor. At times though, parenting is… not quite what we thought it might be. At times it requires much from us. Patience, support, forgiveness, trust, discernment, letting go. It’s also easy to get swallowed up in the fast pace world and lose sight of the simple, good and important things in life. Trying to balance work demands, our adult stress and also wanting to be a “perfect” parent that gives and exposes our children to all of the joys in life. We want their life easier and better than ours. I’d bet it already is so no sense in driving yourself crazy. Parenting and parenting styles are also changing like the world that we live in. If you are feeling the whirlwind around you, this writing is for you. Parenting can be simple. Yep. Sometimes we just need to pause and ground ourselves. Our children do wish to see us at our best. Not tired… stressed… grumpy… confused. They wish to see us, present. Like a present. With a smile on our face and an open heart and arms. And it is possible to be this type of parent. Perfection is not needed. Moments, though, are.
So I offer just a few simple reminders for the parents of our children today:
Birth – 5 years old
LOVE! Hold them, rock them, swaddle them. Sing to them. Get in their face. Be excited. Read to them. Laugh. Bond! Nap when they nap. You need rest, too. See life through their eyes. It’s all new and amazing. Allow this to open your heart. Also remind them of their connection to their angels and the Universe.
Continue to love them! Walk with them. Hold their hand. Lay down with them at night and share stories. Listen to them… truly listen and be amazed. Go to bed early, the chores can wait. Know that they are watching your every move. You are their example and teacher. So, just do the best you can. They will also be exposed too much at school. Allow them to process and unwind at home.
Love them differently. They are growing up to fast. Be there when they need you. Step back when you can. Allow them to grow into their knowing and passion. Keep them safe yet don’t smother… mother differently. Find ways to re-fuel your passions when they are busy with their friends. Enjoy these moments because they will be back in your space soon enough. Ask them questions. Assist them in thinking outside the box. Remind them who they are: Amazing, still childlike… joy… and they are knowing. Grow up together. Allow them to teach you, too. Make it fun. Keep it simple.
15 – 21
Love them anytime and anyplace you can. By now, you know how they receive your love. And yes, it might change almost every day. Send a text, find an old photo, surprise them in a small and simple way. Think of them and send them love and light. Let them know you are there for them. Respect them and their journey. They still need you. As a parent, we like to fix problems as they arise but allow your young adult to co-create with the world. Assist in ways that you can, no more, no guilt. Just love. You provided a safe nest and nurtured them, now let them fly!
Remind yourself of who you are. A present parent. A gift. A joy. Wise. Allowing. Loving. Amazing!