You… First

I do love how the Universe sends me signs. Often I’m stubborn so it takes them coming in three’s.

A few days ago, I saw a comment to a well written blog. The reminder was, in an emergency on a plane, one must place the oxygen mask on themselves first and then offer it to the other. I needed this reminder. I hold a deep mothering nature in me and have also been well trained and conditioned. I’ve been a “mother” in one form or fashion since I was a child. So often I’m a responder to life.

Then, I awoke this morning and an older post I’d written was “liked.” I smiled, paused and read my words. I was realizing those words I wrote in the now past very much applied to right now, today. I needed to take the few minutes to re-read it. I needed to be a teacher to myself. I thought, what had I learned from writing that post? What was I learning and therefor doing now? Had I slid back a bit? I did need this reminder of who I am. I was silently thanking the reader (an angel on my journey) for this reminder.

My third sign came almost to my door just a few minutes later. I could hear a truck outside the window. I glanced and yes, this is not the best pic but… my eyes locked on the U1st. Big bold letters on the side of the work truck that just “randomly” pulled over. I chuckled knowing that everything happens for a reason. Okay Universe, I got it!

When I first started digging deeper in own spiritual journey, one of the lessons was examining my self-worth. This lesson also tied into many others like placing yourself first. I really struggled with this one. I’d been a servant to my family, friends and community for decades. It sounded selfish to actually put myself in the equation and then to move myself to the front of the line. It sounded vain. I just wanted to help… to help make life go smoother for all. I thought the reason I was born was to selflessly serve. I’d learn that I held no Mother Teresa DNA and that I needed to serve myself.  I had to learn, self-love.

I like this pic I found at: http://www.nurturingart.com/blog/?p=509 titled, What blocks you from Self-love?  and it might help with your own discernment.

If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? Eventually you will run out of steam. It can show up as burn-out, stressed out, dis-ease or a mid-life crisis where you start questioning everything. If you are not grounded in your own knowing and being ness, you just float through life. Trust me, people, situations and the “winds” of life can take you far off course if you let them. For many, this is okay and has its own purpose and lessons. For me though, it seemed to go against an inner knowing I had.

I needed to take time to get to know myself. My likes, desires and true purpose. What was my true gift? What was the real reason I choice to be born?  Yes, this process took some time. I believe I’ve found it and in looking back this one seems much better that just the “yes” person I was.

Once I rooted myself in my new foundation, I also found a well of unlimited love (fuel). Love for myself, for others… for so many things I either took for granted or thought I didn’t like. While still far from perfect, I knew when to step up and when to remain calm. I could more clearly see my role in the emergencies of life. I wanted to offer my true and unique strengths and gifts.  I’ve often found myself doing a U-turn in my thoughts and actions as I have been growing into my new self.

So if you find yourself reading this article, ask yourself what one thing can you do for yourself? Maybe it’s small or maybe it’s big. When you are in alignment with your own life, everything else has to fall into place. Just like when you start to enter a doorway and another graciously extends a gesturing hand and say, “You first, please.”  This is where you smile, say thank you and enter. Cross the doorway. Enter.  It’s your turn.  Partake in the joys on the other side. It’s time. Roll your shoulders back and walk proud. Chin up.  Enjoy this moment. Be you… first!  I don’t even know you but I’d bet you are AMAZING. So… go be it!  Walk your walk, knowing who you are.

I’d been seeing a lot of 9’s lately.  For me, in numerology, this stand for completion.  A cycle or season was ending.  The other day I thought, I don’t know what the, “1” is.  Well, I think I just found it.  It starts with me.