The American Dream or…

I’m in the process of moving. Process would be a good word. I woke up this morning on day five. My fiancé and I are the moving company so where is the Advil? We’ve moved three times in the past three years so you’d think I’d be an expert by now. And these aren’t little moves. Five hundred miles here, five hundred miles there. And the volume that has been moved. I’m not in college anymore. I had the American Dream for many years.  A three bedroom home, garage, kids, career and all the stuff that comes with it. Furniture, professional clothes, books, photo albums, kids’ stuff and ghee I must love to cook and obviously at one point entertained since seriously, how many dishes does one need?

During the first move, it had been a while since I’d moved so I just figured this was what it was. In a way, it was fun and exciting – a fresh start.  The second move, I think I was a little bit shell shocked that I was moving again and somehow it got done. During this move, I’ve been very present. I’ve also found myself mad at myself. Seriously… where did all this stuff come from? I thought I’d already trimmed down and donated what I didn’t need. Do I seriously need all this?  I also realize how much I’ve changed since the last move.

These moves have always been in the summer and this time, we moved in high humidity 100 degree days.  This alone will make you present. I felt like the humidity made each step slower.  I honestly cared less about the stuff and became very aware of our own health and safety. All of a sudden, all this stuff and this process seemed… insane. Why do we grow up and get conditioned to have all of this… stuff!

I’ve never been a materialistic person but seem to have so many items that I love and hold on to. I remind myself, LET IT GO! I realized I’ve held on to much since I’ve had the mindset that I worked really hard to purchase the item or the chance that we will use/need it in the future. (It’s obvious I had a past life in the depression era.) I also noticed I’ve held on to items saying, oh I’m going to make this with that. Many of the items I’ve held on to are also reminders. Reminders of the past, a good memory. So I stand and look at the boxes, I wonder. I know all there is, is now. If I let go of the past and future, I’d bet I’d have a third of this. And what about the believe that if I need it, the Universe will provide?

Well, I have more thoughts but… I have some “unpacking” to do. Oh there is just so much symbolism in moving. I also have a lot of letting go to do. So I’ll be back soon.