I’m a writer so… I need to write like I need to breathe. I write about many things and this is about my journey – the road to my first published book. Can I say, just like my spiritual journey as it unfolds… not as I’d thought.
I’ve written several manuscripts yet a few years ago I just wanted to get my first one finished. It had taken me almost 20 years. I was busy with a career, family and life. Then I was blessed with a gift of time yet I could also describe it as a time of unemployment, frustration and at times, depression. I did finally finish the only manuscript I thought I’d ever write. Then several more came. Wow. Then guidance came as to what to do next and I followed through. Months and years passed and for some reason, I didn’t get frustrated. I had a knowing yet… this wasn’t quite playing out like I thought. I was held in an energy/belief that it needed to be published by a publisher. (Really nowadays that’s an old school thought.)
So I believed. I intended. I held light, love and space. I wrote on the steps in hopes to also encourage another.
I thought of the manuscript I wished to have published (ironically not the first one I wrote). I loved it. Can I say that as a writer, this is huge? We are our own harshest critic. Yet, I then decided to make it simple. Spirit is easy. I went to the heart of that manuscript and then made it into a pdf. I placed it online for free. Wayne Dyer had passed and I thought of his words: Don’t let your song die in you. There was no sense in waiting and coveting it.
Yet, I still held the dream of the manuscript in its entirely. In January of this year, I tried again with an open heart and excitement as I mailed to another publisher that I was guided to. Then in mid-February I wrote (more for myself):
I humbly type knowing, it’s not about me. Doesn’t that seem obvious yet… Yes, I could self-publish yet I feel no energy there. I think it’s about relationships, timing and how it fits into a larger divine plan. It’s about the messages and sharing a healing and uplifting vibration with others who are ready. I came here to, share and co-create. So I intend for any published books to serve and assist others on their journey. To offer a perspective and reminder of all that we are – our divine light and nature and connection to something far greater. To choose love over fear, doubt, confusion and pain. And… to relax and laugh. We are too hard on ourselves.
Then… I let go. Funny what happens when you do this. It came right back to me a week later. My book was in good hands… mine. Wow. Now, what I was so resistant to, was just what I was to do. Self-publish. I was finally ready. Energy and passion came. The blocks were gone. I edited and polished and tweaked even more. The larger manuscript (over 200 pages) was just too much. This is where I start. This is enough.
So I loaded the document and proofed several times and now… It will be on Amazon within 5 days. 🙂
Wow. In the big picture, this is really small yet it’s an important step in my journey. I am honoring it. I’ve also literally handed off this experience to my younger self. I had to experience it here (yet trust me I forgot this step) so that she, too would benefit from it. My word choice will be altered a bit to fit her experience. Really the words don’t mater – the vibration does. Just like when we are guided from our higher self with those amazing insights. While you can access your akashic records, at times just be them… write them. We do this every day.
So was my knowing, wrong? Absolutely not! I’m far from done writing, living and publishing… in whatever form it takes. This has been a labor of patience, trust and LOVE!! If you have a book in you, write it. Allow it to come into form. Birth your book!
Thank you for reading and being a part of my journey. Namaste. ♥
UPDATE: After I wrote this, I went for a walk. Oh the Universes, how it places signs in front of you. At my turn around spot was a large pair of… scissors. Medical like. I just thought it was, odd. I only walked a few more steps and let out a chuckle. CUT THE (umbilical) CORD! If you love it, set if free! Really, I’m not the book. It will need to do its own thing.
ANOTHER UPdate: Wow, more like within 5 hours: click here for Amazon. Thank you Amazon Angel.