I am feeling blissfully happy in this moment and I’m not sure, why. Oh… because I’m alive. Yes, that is a good enough reason. Something is happening and I’m not sure what it is. Really, I don’t need to name it. That’s what this journey is about – these undefinable moments.
I can look back at my life… particularly the past four years. I left the corporate world when Spirit gave a few very strong shoves. It was so obvious to me change was needed yet I really didn’t have a plan. I was at the peak of my professional career and my brain knew this wasn’t logical. My heart though couldn’t endure another day. While I was spiritual before, I’d have no idea what was to unfolded.
I’d planned on taking a few months off to “regroup” and then reemerge. Basically right back into the same dynamics I left. I was certain after those few months I’d be different and that would be enough. Well… Spirit had other plans. Months turned into years – yikes. I panicked, I was often beside myself (as I applied for hundreds of jobs and never got one of them) and then… I let go. I decided to trust. And a way was provided. The way was a bit foreign to me. And it did have several surprise peaks and… trips to Hell. I don’t say this to detour anyone. Your reality/experience might be very different. I’m hoping and optimistic a piece of cake compared to mine because I endured enough for many a souls. For me, I no longer fear or feel hell (now lower case) because it taught me well. It’s just a place and there are many. At times it seems like my life had been turned upside down just when I was starting to figure it out. After each life altering reality, it would take months to come back. I’d often wonder, seriously, is this what a spiritual journey will do for you? Yet… something in me never gave up. And for me it had to happen this way for a reason.
I’ve had years of release/healing/purification work. At one point I was shocked and amazed at the never ending depth of it. Yet it does, and you do find a way back to the light. New relationships with trust, freedom, power and love, unconditional love are born. What I didn’t realize as I was doing my personal healing work, I was also assisting in clearing the collective. Trust that many have made this planet a lighter place. Much personal baggage was released and now I can actually joke about it (funny then – not so much).
So much is written on enlightenment. To be honest, that was never my goal because I can’t even imagine what that means. I am human… and I haven’t mastered this experience. I seem to know I have many more lifetimes here. We are though all Master soul’s. While I’ve had some amazing divine experiences… some out of this world experiences (because they were), I am grateful, honored and humbled to be here; home.
I’ve written on my cocoon seasons in the past. I’ve had many. Yet even while in a cocoon, you live… just differently. I’ve also had several stages I’ve entered and outgrown. For most of my life I had a longing/knowing/striving for… something I couldn’t even describe. The longing subsided when I reconnected with Spirit/the Universe/Myself. The striving then, over time, seemed to fade as well. All that was left was the knowing. Can I say that at times the knowing can’t be described?
I’ve often said the spiritual journey is not for sissie’s. You start off as curious, move on to brave and then find a piece/peace that you can’t hardly remember… this life. Awakening is the gift. Remembering… however much you do, because really it doesn’t matter, is the gift. Savor it! So if you were to ask me if it’s worth it…? Yes. Absolutely. I don’t need to even explain it. I can just smile and if you were to be in my presence you, too, would know. Well, you already know. If you follow along, you too are having your own divine experience right now. If you are newer to this journey, this is just to say, the road is not always easy but it’s worth it. In peace, love and joy!
(I wrote this yesterday and then needed to rest. I think I filed all of this past reminiscing away as a memory. A chapter is closing. A new one is starting. All is well and the future looks bright.)