While I’ve written a few times on Spiritual Growing Pains and even Spiritual Hissy Fits… both worthy of capital letters… I am… now in a place that I have a new word choice – Soul Expansion. I’ve been feeling it for about 24 hours now. Know that you are not yourself. Often though it happens after a big blast of energy/a-ha’s/bliss so it can catch you off guard. Like… what is this?? Ugh! Just when you know and think you have it figured out… and you do, but your body and life has to catch up. So I’ll share.
Warning: Adult language used. This post probably isn’t what you think and basically the opposite of my other post of the day. If you’ve even read one of my posts, you know who I am. I am kind, positive, patient and present. I think, feel and do, angelic. Yet…
Yesterday the smallest thing brought the b*tch out in me. Yes, please laugh with me.
Whooo… where did that aspect come from?
Hasn’t all this spiritual work been to release this as well as any other “negative” feeling/memories/sides of me? Haha! I then found myself singing repeatedly this song and found this version online:
I was saying, I AM a…
Yup, I am that, too. We are EVERYTHING. Sing along with me if this resonates with you – a great release.
I seemed to have an attitude about several things – yikes. So I checked in with Spirit saying that I found my inner b*tch and now what do I do with her?? I kept thinking about Tina Fay and the SNL skit where she said, Bitches get things done! In this moment, I had to find a more positive and funny side of this. There is nothing wrong with being real… authentic… you! Yet how does one honor their inner bitch/grouchy?
I took a breathe and then realized, this was a long time coming. LONG. Spirit confirmed discussing with me that often by the time woman reach their 40’s, they’ve had so many experiences, many of them not how they’d planned… well, no wonder. So my advice? Love your inner bitch… or not. Some woman won’t have her surface. For others… she is your teacher. Let her speak… and listen. Journaling can also assist… or a power walk/run to blow off some steam. Ask for an hour or day or long weekend to reacquaint yourself. She just needs some time, attention and love. Often it’s the stuff that’s been suppressed and it needs to come up and out. It’s no longer serving you… or who you are becoming.
Know that she doesn’t have to stay long. Really she isn’t even you. She is there though to help. And do others fear when we have these moments? Often yes but it is our power speaking to us. Being pacified doesn’t help when one’s soul is expanding and pressing on anything that needs to be felt and dealt with. Great realization and change can also happen if you just allow this. It’s not necessarily a time to, do. Honor this now discovery and unfolding. B*tch… know thyself.
One could say that this emotion/state of being… or even writing about it isn’t very spiritual. Now I’m thinking of Dayna’s article – Bullshit! (And another good song to sing. Let’s keep this light, real and fun.) Call yourself on your own crap. There is no wrong way to be you and spiritual. It’s all divine.
So after I wrote this, I had a smile on my face. All was well again. Ahhh… We are constantly being shaped and molded. A variety of teachers and experiences help us with this process. Know that it will all settle and you are better for having the experience.
So when someone is cranky/a jerk/asshole/bitch to you, just know that their soul is pressing on them and trying to expand. They might not even understand their own process. Being a spiritual bad ass, lol. Love the jerks… they are trying so hard to wake up/remember… love. Often what we label as negative is soo not.
Working in light, love and whatever crosses our path.
(pictures found online)
I feel if I deny or push away this aspect of myself, I am in truth denying the totality of who I AM. After all, no one likes to feel dismissed or denied, so why do I think it would be okay to do that to myself?
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So wise!!! Oh thank you 🙂
Wow! I can relate to this!! This aspect of me that peeks its head out from time to time can be a handful lol. But I have learned to embrace her fully.
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Oh thank you for saying this!! I felt “her” yesterday yet I sooo hesitated to write/post. She was back again this morning (ugh), and often after I publically write about whatever then it’s, gone. 🙂 Back to the angelic… yet it all is.