WHAT??!! Yes, this was part of a message that recently surfaced. I had to embody a lightbody to then be told that I am no longer a lightworker. But of course… this is par for the course, lol. So much of this journey has been backwards and upside down. I needed to remain calm and listen. And I got it. I am not any label. I AM… me.
I wrote this post yet also wanted some time before I hit the publish button. Often small yet important a-ha’s surface when I do this. This time the realization came that the title/tag line and the actual writing didn’t quite match up yet somewhere in my mind they did… 100%. Would a reader be able to intuitively jump with me or did I now need to go back and make this simpler? If you follow along, you may have noticed that while I try to title correctly, often a post goes in a different direction. You can’t judge a post by the title and you’ll never know what you’ll find. And at times, I ask questions and don’t give advice/answers either. While I share a lot, really it’s just a perspective or reference. It’s not my place to answer all/the/another’s question(s).
So as I was making this realization, I chucked. This is just like Spirit. I can remember when channeling started for me. I had all sorts of questions. I made lists, got in the zone and was ready for answers. Yet Spirit didn’t seem interested in my questions. They did like to tell… stories! I remained patient, listened and noted. Later I realized, they did answer my questions. Every – single – one. And then after some time, quicker/different ways came to relay messages.
So I looked again at this (too long of a) post I’d written and realized… it’s not about words per say. It’s rarely about what we think. While I could now summarize in a paragraph this experience/remembrance/step… it’s about more than the quick answer. It is about the story and process. So at this point, instead of making a short post, I ended up making it even longer – urgh and lol. Some read for the love of reading. Yet some need a longer post to calm and receive a healing vibration to have their own amazing a-ha moment which is very empowering (verses just being given an answer or feeling a connection – although this is nice, too). So some will skim and I so get that (I do it, too!); we do often rush for the answer/conclusion. So for the skim readers, I will say (in my opinion and trying to be very brief) the journey and purpose of a lightworker is to be a light tribe cheerleader and… heal yourself. Once you have done this, you just send back/move along this aspect as you embody the next. So… If you’d like more thoughts, please do continue to read on. I’ve decided to break into
two three (gheez) posts and thank you for reading.
I’ve aligned to the word choice of lightworker for almost a decade now. More recently a light keeper yet even that word choice doesn’t always seem correct. (One does not need to work or keep anything.) And the list could go on but they’re just words and roles that we have/try on: Channel, Wayshower, Gridworker, Gatekeeper, Guardian, Ascended Master, Shaman, Teacher, Healer… is your head spinning yet? Spirit is simple so really all these words just mean, a friend. And luckily we have many in this journey.
So to give some backstory to those who might not normally read along, this revelation came over three dark nights yet not “the” – they were, light nights. It was like pealing an onion; getting the surface off (of who I’d become) and then going deeper, again! A lifting of the veils. I took pages of notes and it felt well/right (no fight in me) yet my mind, particularly afterwards wanted to take control – wanting details and a course of action, like, how… does one be a “retired” lightworker? I am too young to retire – I have a skill and passion! And let’s be practical – I have a cost/joy of living. The answer was and is so simple yet we can make it as complicated as we choose. I knew to remain calm, open, patient and allow the unfolding.
It was as if I needed to disconnect from everything so the hurricane/not having power/internet/even the moonlight was perfect timing. And when I first tried to get back online my laptop was also mirroring as a box appeared stating: Your personal setting are not responding. Ha! I know.
My journey has rarely been what I think. When I take what’s given to me (messages/remembrance) and live it… change happens. When I dismiss or ignore it… not so much. So first, Guidance was gently reminding me that the spiritual path is no greater than any other path/choice. This I knew yet needed the reminder. The word choice was as if to say that the/this experience wasn’t real either. A-ha! That will twist your mind a bit. Talk about flip your personal truth upside down, again. (And a bit of an ego check, too.) I’ve written in the past that there are times to let go of your spiritual practice/journey and live. You’ll pretty quickly realize (or I hope you do) that your life and all is pretty amazing and spiritual.
Earlier on in this blog, I wrote on getting to one’s divine blueprint. While we have many templates/choices and even remodels, we’re born with a core one that tugs at us. If only we could remember that one; like you want to see the, bones/original plan. For me, this one got buried with, life and I’ve spent years, unpacking. I will say that I’ve found many treasures/surprises as I’ve unpacked. Like a favorite item you forgot you had: Oh here it is – I remember this. I’ve also found a few things I wondered why I held on to.
The personal work many have been doing for years now often happens or could be (mis)labeled as a mid-life crisis or towards the end of one’s life as a reflection/review/dis-ease/debilitation or… even a celebration. For me, it was as if I had a life and then this spiritual experience. Like before awakening and, after. Many write as if you transcend and the old you/life/earth becomes a distant memory (and this can happen for some). One might read that you go from 3D to 4 to 5, etc. in a nice orderly fashion. Well, my spirituality is quite messy but not sloppy, lol. Honestly, they can and do often mix. It’s okay to be both so spiritual and so human. It’s okay and now safe to be… YOU! I see many walk the path… to perfection/purity…?? Try the joy one – it’s a hell of a lot more fun!
Now, my former life was brought back up front and center. Honestly other than healing work, so much of that was let go of. And then the current life I’ve been living. And then I could even feel who I am still becoming. All three of these templates now finally, fit. While this sounds easy… it has every reason to have a spot/rough edge/block where they just won’t go together. As if slowly this process has been to let go of stories, victim and even survivor mentalities, ego… and even the spiritual journey just so it could come back together in harmony… all of it. I was to embrace all of it. This through was now perplexing my mind a bit since I thought I was to, let go/headed over here. Well, I was for some time yet now, all of it was/is important.
What I didn’t realize is the work I’ve been personally doing over many years was to right any wrong. To get to a place in my own heart and healing journey that I now saw/understood/remembered/knew – the why. Boy can that one word can open up so much. I remember receiving this message some time ago. The words were, right or was it write the wrong. I wasn’t sure and Spirt wasn’t giving me any more guidance. When I first heard this, I wondered if I needed to do something. I didn’t realize I was. Writing is therapy and many are rewriting their life/history/cellular dna.
More recently I heard, Now heal backwards – You were born to heal the ones who gave the wounds. To make peace and be love, on an even deeper level, to any person one might perceive as a giver of a wound. Well… wowziers. I certainly couldn’t have done this even a year ago. Like didn’t I more recently write, abuse of any kind = contract done. At times it is best to just walk away.
I feel I could write much more on this because how you do this healing is often not as one thinks. I’ve done mine in layers and stages. So much of this work can be done on an energetic level and in simple ways in reality. Just by not responding as the woundee or fighting back, you significantly change the energy dynamic. Just being neutral can be a big step… or by gently/sincerely/in your own way saying, I am sorry for your pain – knowing (in your mind and heart) that it has nothing to do with you. The common ground though is, you both know of pain. Pain sucks yet does serve a purpose.
While it’s easy to write this now, one has to be this… know this… and it takes time, patience, self-love, new understandings, growth and practice. Fake just doesn’t work long on this journey and you’ll know when you get to, authentic. Who you really are = love 24/7. Even when it’s strange/messy/crazy.
For some, you might be like me. The former me was strong. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Very strong and it served me well. And then… I was broken… in every way. I had no idea what I did to deserve this. I’d often taken the high road, given all I had and loved others more than I did myself. I mean, wasn’t this what I was supposed to do? My worst nightmares though became, in time, gifts. So now I can say, I am no longer strong, I am alive and healthy. There is a difference.
Okay, let’s take a small break… Pat two at 1:11 pm 🙂