Fear, Pain and… Writing

 

It’s been a while but I have written on fear before.  Well, actually a few times.  Yet, I have new stories to tell.  LOL.  As a writer one needs to write and I often do with passion.  It just  flows.  Yet, I have experienced telling what was a very true (to me) story and the pain that can be caused when another party reads the words.  Like, yikes how did that happen/wasn’t suppose to/not the intention.  There are many sides to a story.  For a while it kept me from writing.  I then chose to write again yet, differently.  I also though think of the four agreements.  So… let me not digress but tell a new short story on fear… and pain.

A while ago I wrote on my dental fear.  As I drove to the dentist, I heard a whisper.  The amount of pain you will feel = the amount of pain that you still hold.  Well, at first, I cringed.  While I’ve spent years in my own personal healing… with this journey, one never knows what one holds.  So I decided to be optimistic and to embrace whatever pain I felt.  Well… amazingly, I felt none!

Over the weekend, I had to trip which entailed going over a large bridge and body of water.  While it’s been a while, I’ve also shared my bridge/heights anxiety/phobia.  It started when I was 40. While Spirit has worked with me on this one, it has also required, patience.  So this bridge I needed to go over is long, tall, no shoulder to pull off on and the day I needed to drive over it… 40 mph wind gusts (but of course).

So the day before departing I heard a whisper, the amount of anxiety you feel = your fear to continue on.  Oh, well that got me feeling very confident.  I could feel my angel wings.  No fear.  Yet anxiety/the body/mind is a tricky thing.  I’d already called and requested an escorted drive over and decided to go, escorted and relaxed.  To take in the scenery.  No choice is a bad choice.  The interesting thing was, a sign was provided right from the start.  We ended up waiting 25 minutes for the ride.  Fear = delay.  And we had some fun to get to.

A nice gentleman drove us across and I was very appreciative.  For 26 miles though, he drove like… a nascar driver.  Quick movements, driving down the center lane and his hands were never at ten and two.  My inner drivers ed teacher was stirring but I decided to keep my mouth shut.  I did though use my passenger emergency brake and was grabbing/clutching anything I could hold on to in a few moments.  I am sure he noticed.  While something in me could see the humor in the moment, much more so afterwards.  I’d never fathomed this.  At one point, my heart rate increased as we passed a car.  I was just hoping we didn’t take their bumper off but then I saw a wooden décor item in their back seat.  It sparkled…and said… BELIEVE.  I smiled and then slowly return to my Zen like state of being.  Oh the Angels must have been laughing.  As we departed, I asked the drivers name.  To me his name symbolized safety so I again chuckled.  I should have asked from the start.  So for several miles afterwards we laughed (my fellow younger travel companions) as we reenacted the account.  Now, that was the right vibration.

For the return trip, I decided to drive.  We stopped right before and I bought a coke.  Can I say I hardly ever drink soda.  But my soul wanted it because my inner child is of the coke and a smile generation.  The label read, grab a coke and go home.  Yes!  My fellow companions were now making fun of me but also knew how to escort me.  In laughter, music and LOVE.  Can I say that I made it across the bridge hardly even remembering it.  We were in our own vibration/reality/dimension.

So, I can’t say that I hold no pain or fear though.  I am human.  Yet… it is interesting how Spirit looked at it.  I knew that angels would get us where we needed to be safety… and as always, leaving a good story to tell.  The event and amount of fun we had was worth it.

Bridges and water, like many things hold much symbolism and a vibration.  It seems crazy to me at times to have any fear of anything.  I do know that one is to embrace life, fear and even at times, pain.  To get to the other side, safe and sound.

 BELIEVE!

I’ll leave a few other past posts on topic as well if one is interested:

2020spiritualvision.wordpress.com/2015/02/27/living-fearless

2020spiritualvision.wordpress.com/2016/04/01/fear-shadow-work-and